Why are my Kegel exercises not working?
You have been squeezing and squeezing and yet your pelvic floor still feels… well, it doesn’t feel anything at all. Perhaps lack of sensation during sex, no awareness. Or maybe it does feel something: weak or uncomfortable. Or even tight, sensitive and restricted. You still have incidents where you leak and prefer using a pad – just in case.
But everything the Kegels promised like no more incontinence, a tighter pelvic floor and more sensual pleasure just never happened.
So you start to question if you are doing your Kegels correctly
This is a challenging question to answer. Especially online. There are different ways to find out. You can see a pelvic floor specialist who can assess you like a women’s health physio who can also do an internal vaginal assessment. I see women too as part of my massage therapy and pelvic steams although I do not diagnose or do internal exams. Or you can take time and finally start to assess and get to know your own body. This is what you explore in the Sacred Pelvis online course through meditations, lectures and yoga practises as well as specific pelvic floor practices.
Because it is about your body. And your whole body. Everything is connected. If you have a weak pelvic floor and you do your Kegels but your abdomen is weak and you have abdominal separation, or lack of strength in your back and general bad posture (how are you sitting right now? Straight? Slouching, Legs crossed?) then most likely your pelvic floor won’t recover. Or perhaps you have too much tightness already without any strength.
How to find balance in your pelvis
Here are my suggestions for finding more balance. It is a very brief summary of what we explore and practice in the Sacred Pelvis online course.
More pelvic awareness
What I usually suggest is just becoming more aware. Feel your pelvis and pelvic floor. Try to engage the muscles and relax them. Then notice where you feel most sensation and where it’s easier for you to connect. Do this in different positions; sitting up, lying down, walking…
Next step is to release any unnecessary tension. Create more flexibility by stretching such as certain yoga poses or even self-massage. Once you can relax you can start to notice where you need more strength. It is not just a weak pelvic floor that causes incontinence, a too tight hypertonic pelvic floor can also be a cause for leaking, discomfort and pain.
Strengthen the pelvic floor
Now that you know your pelvic floor better, try to discover different parts. Engage around the front of the pelvic floor – as if you have to pee and you try to hold. Then at the back as if you have wind and you try to hold it in. And connect to the vaginal canal and notice which parts you can easily engage and where you might need more practice.
For all these practises move slowly with the breath. Also, try to hold the engagement whilst breathing. And do quick movements too.
Like all exercise, it’s important to relax the muscles too.
Why stop with the pelvic floor?
The strength and flexibility of your buttocks, thighs, back and abdomen will also influence your pelvic floor and vice versa. If you want to reconnect to the pelvis then make that your focus in all your exercise – as well as your daily life. Including your posture, how you pick up the shopping from the floor and how you sit at the computer at work. everything is connected.
If you are curious and want to learn more please join us on the Sacred Pelvis online course where we go much more into details, you can join yoga practices, visualisations and become more educated in how your body works. Here are all the details.